we always learn

I find it funny that even tho know one will ever read this I will continue to write. It is not because I am a super depressed loser or because I have no friends to leave a comment but because I am not going to give this address out to anyone unless they ask unprovoked. I figure that I am doing things just to be seen doing them. Charity is a good example, I have precipitate in many food banks and such... not for the unending satisfaction or the glorious smiles you see on a otherwise gloomy face but for the luke warm prestige of being seen as a neutral force in the universe. this should not be anyones' motive.The most recent motive of selfish acts would be my involvement in the local worship band that has recently has plagued me with a ever expanding void between me and God as well as a growing relationship with the prince of darkness. You know, you would think that worshiping in a church through the movement of your fingers and the precision of you ear would be one of the greatest things you can offer God. A great verse from the good book "If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." Mattew 5:29-30. The way I figure it is that my hand or eye is like my playing worship and that I should sacrifice it before going to hell. So what left to do but to act on it. I found my worship leader and good friend James Newman and told him that I must relinquish my services for a while, while I return to the heart of worship (one of my favorite songs).What i find more interesting is the events leading up to this seemingly unorthodox decision. The Sunday before the usual Wednesday youth service is the day the band practice. This was the first day I missed practice, I had every intention to go but yet again the hand of God corrects my stubborn mistakes and makes me miss it. This forces the rest of the band preform as a acoustic set. Me being a spectator allows me to become a follower instead of a leader and may I say "it is sweet". it may not have been the way they played it but a what they played. Instead of the new songs by tree 63 and sonic flood they went back to the old songs that the old back would play and it was a spectacular performance.This was when I learned that there were many ways to worship without being in the spotlight. -Roy Salmon