David

I realy dont know where my place is in life. I love music, worship and leading. Is it right to assume that I should be a worship leader? I mean it is the gift God has given me so why shouldn't I? These are the questions that I have been asking myself lately. The last couple of months I have been feeling that I shouldnt be leading worship, but I dont know if I'm only saying this because its hard. I get on the stage and I have a hard enough time getting my own self into that state of worship. I completly froget that theres a congragation that I'm sposed to be leading. I always thought God has called me to worship, but now I'm not so sure. If theres anyone out there reading this i sure could use a talk. 5$ says that anyone that douse feel like talking to me about it wont be from Cold Lake. Have you ever felt that you were doing everything right but everything was actually going very wrong.

anyway on a good note I after a long time of searching for one i gave up and made my own bible study, consisting of me, David and Luke. I have a feeling that im not going to learn a whole lot. The years that I have been in a small group I realy havent learned anything. I always felt more like a teacher but whatever.

Iwould like to wright more but im tired so ill try to update soon

just letting you know

for anyone who cares im starting a sketch book at the bottom of this page so check it out.

Broken Inside

Well. All of my real life I have had this ability, to see through things. If I don't understand something I could always figure it out. Its hard to explain, I just had this need to know. No matter what I was doing at the time I could be contemplating something completely different. it was always good. I could accomplish things. its like this music in my head, this music that tells me everything I need to know, really what gives me faith has stopped playing. I just can't think. I have lost enjoyment in everything. somethings wrong and I don't know what it is. I used to be able to figure these things out. Well it was kind of an aid, it would help me, it would tell me what to pray about, where as now I sit ready for prayer and nothing comes to mind. its like I'm broken inside. It would lead me to God. It is how I felt before I was saved. It was such a distinked feeling that I can't froget. Now all I can feel is a fear that I will go back to old habbits. I need help and for the first time in my life it isn't avalable in Cold Lake.

I can't name this one

I don't understand why trusting in God is so difficult. When it comes to family, friends, even people I have never met before I have never had an issue with trust. I really cant think of a friend that I wouldn't trust with my life. Which brings the question: why don't I trust the only person who has truly earned the right to be trusted.



I lead a worship band. I really enjoy it but on top of everything else that God seems to be testing me with he still feels the need to critique my work here. It is probably just because this is where I need the most work. What buggs me more that anything is that all the musical experience that I have accumulated over the years is telling me that we as a band are doing every second thing wrong. The list of problems that I could rant for hours on don't really seem to matter to anyone. Every instinct of mine tells me that we suck but week after week I have people complement our worship, to be honest we don't deserve this thanks but somehow we recive it anyway. I'm not trying to get at the salvation story. Its that I am trying too hard and worrying over everything when it comes to worship. Even when I know im too tired to play it still sounds good. For some things, as it stands, I just cant trust him.



I realy hate myself for it.

My Search is over

Well what has happened in the last two weeks? i had a minor sergery shortly after my first blog, it wasnt anything worth commenting about. School is going better. Today i went and hung out with my ausome sister and all her ausomeness. (I'm in Calgary right now visiting family) We went and saw a musical that was quight good. we always have good chats. the biggest thing that has happened in the last two weeks is that i have found a mentor. Before my "unofficial mentor" was drake but now that he and his wife have split town i am left to fent for myself. after a halloween event i found myself overwelmed with things and a sence of self persicution. i think that i finaly realized that i couldnt do it alone. even just talking with someone helps. well anyway my mentor was probably the last person anyone would suspect because realy, we are quight oppisite people. anyway it is linsay toth and she is a cool person and realy easy to talk to and i think it is what God has lead me to. im tyered im going to bed.

by the way happy birthday lindsay

My Meaning of Worship

This is the talk that I will be speaking tonight for my youthgroup in regaurds to what worship is.

I guess that I have always known my role in the church. from the very begining when I first came to this youth group I knew where I would be today. I dont realy know what it was, there was this band who tallented... but it wasnt the band that impressed me. The songs were speaking to me. suddenly this love for music that I had never felt befor was consuming my life. I suddenly became more gifted with instrements. It was consuming my life. I know now that it wasnt a love for music, it was a love of worship. I no many of you may not be familiar with this concept and that is why I have asked to talk to you tonight. I would like to read you my favorite passage in the bible out of romans 12. It reads:

"1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."

This is the message I belive we need to remember when we talk about worship. Worship is what we do to bring glory to God and by extention become closer to him. So when our "worship band" is playing in this sancuary what we are doing it using all our effort to worship God. But the reason we sing on a stage is to lead you... into this state of glorafing god. The next song we are going to sing is a song by Matt Redman called "Heart of Worship". It says "if all we bring you is a song, a song in itself is not what you require, you search much deeper within, than the way things appear. Your looking into my heart"

=It is not just a song. It is us bringing glory to our God=

My new life

once again i am making an atempt at a blog. this time it is mostly to try to keep up with friends that have left such as drake and kier. my organizational skills are getting slightly better and i am spending more time on the computer than i used to. since the last post many things have happeded so i have lots of stories to tell. for two months in the summer i was staying at bellview bible camp, it was good fun staying with old friends and i am exited as two of them are got engaged durring my stay there, and though elise did steal geoff from me i think that he will be much happier with her than he would be with our slightly more distorted relationship. the best of luck to them. there were two weeks in wich no one was there and without a car it did get pretty lonely. i did lead worship this year at jr teen and it went ausome. god blessed me with a band that was blessed with alot of tallent. i now see that all this was a start on a much more difficult task that was leading worship for our local youthgroup were everyone in our youthgroup is gifted but we are still short a drummer as well as a gutair dude and a male vocalist. but not to say it hasnt been working out, after a couple of weeks i got my prioritys straight and put god first in our music and in the end our music sounded the same in our minds but i gess god put us in the eyes of people with rose colored glasses. we have come a long way but we still have alot of work ahead of us. i now have a goal that god has givin me. i have decided to go to ambros univercity collage to studie a ministry. i feel that god has lead me to ministry, auc may not be where he leads me but the meens to get there is put on my heart. i belive this goal is what will give me good marks in school and i just pray that it will. these are the main things that have happened in my life. i am copping. we will see where it leads me.

The Events

hey everyone, sorry that I havent bloged in a while. the last three weeks have been quight busy.

I left you with the note that I was going to LYC. I would like for you to know that this year sucked, not because of the confrence cause that was great, but because of my youth group complaining that there was nothing to do. Last year I went to LYC with the vermilion group and even though I was an outsider they still made me feel as at home as possable, and it was probbable the best time that I have ever had. but this year all I heard from my youth group was stupid exuses not to go to any of the rallys. I took a walk around the sancuary and a saw the brotherhood and deep prayer, something that I found last year with the vermillion group but this year I had no one. my youth group found it stupid and decided that a McDonalds run would be more important all this while my pastor went to a Calgary Flames game. Now lets focus on whats good. There was a ausome worship band witch gave me great ideas for some worship songs. the speaker was real ausome and spoke with that Nooma tone. And the highlight of the weekend would have to be hanging out with my brother, I dont get to see him a whole lot but I have learned so much from him.

A week later I went to the Clapton concert and I must say it was ausome to see this guy play. It picked up after the first half an hour. I stayed in augestana dorms with Greg Ostertag and I would just like to say that I now realize why 80% of christians drop their faith in collage. So I would just like for poeple that are in none christian collages to be prayed for because I didnt realize how much temptation they deal with.

Monday and tuesday I had two 6 hour practice sessions with Owen Dargatz for this ausome concert on wednesday. I would like to thank everyone for comming out for mine and Drakes first paied gig. and for those who didnt come... ...well... ...you suck. It was ausome.

Anyways that is my late blog.

bit a little more music than i could chew

Hello my name is Wade Wheeler and I am a wannabe workaholic. This is where everyone in my support group will say "hi Wade". I wright this blog to ask for some prayer. Over the last few weeks I have been telling people that I could do alot more than I could. As I may or may not have told you guys Mr. Casidy has a music program that I am a key member of. I love it but it douse not do good for my time budget. Also I have agreed to do three sets for Owen Dynats, one of which I am missing school for, to play bass at his CD reless party. Also i am going to calgary this weekend from fri to monday for which i miss 2 days of school. also the weekend later i am going to a eric clapton concert which is the day befor my first set with owen dynats. the morning befor the clapton concert i am making a point of being at the harbor lite allience church because a good friend of mine, drake farmer, is speaking. to top it off, our own set in the beigining of april, the wade wheeler experience (jamie named the band), has three practicis comming up. Any who pray for my school work, the schoolwork feels very neglected right now.

Where Credit is Due

As you may have noticed, the last blog was old, as I couldn't wright a new one due to i couldent log in... So I had to make a new one. I wrote a essay on thursday and i totaly blew it, completely ran out of time. with 10 min left in the 1500 word essay I slapped on a quick conclusion and got 1200 words out with no time to spare. I'll keep you posted on my marks.

Anywho, I would like to take this moment to honor two great actors. Criss Farly and David Spade. A great duo who could deliver laugh after laugh. Sure we have our Dane Cooks and our Adam Sandlers but nothing compares to the greats. I say this after watching Dicky Roberts: Former Child star and would like to point out that spade is pulling it together after Farlys unfortunet death.

we always learn

I find it funny that even tho know one will ever read this I will continue to write. It is not because I am a super depressed loser or because I have no friends to leave a comment but because I am not going to give this address out to anyone unless they ask unprovoked. I figure that I am doing things just to be seen doing them. Charity is a good example, I have precipitate in many food banks and such... not for the unending satisfaction or the glorious smiles you see on a otherwise gloomy face but for the luke warm prestige of being seen as a neutral force in the universe. this should not be anyones' motive.The most recent motive of selfish acts would be my involvement in the local worship band that has recently has plagued me with a ever expanding void between me and God as well as a growing relationship with the prince of darkness. You know, you would think that worshiping in a church through the movement of your fingers and the precision of you ear would be one of the greatest things you can offer God. A great verse from the good book "If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." Mattew 5:29-30. The way I figure it is that my hand or eye is like my playing worship and that I should sacrifice it before going to hell. So what left to do but to act on it. I found my worship leader and good friend James Newman and told him that I must relinquish my services for a while, while I return to the heart of worship (one of my favorite songs).What i find more interesting is the events leading up to this seemingly unorthodox decision. The Sunday before the usual Wednesday youth service is the day the band practice. This was the first day I missed practice, I had every intention to go but yet again the hand of God corrects my stubborn mistakes and makes me miss it. This forces the rest of the band preform as a acoustic set. Me being a spectator allows me to become a follower instead of a leader and may I say "it is sweet". it may not have been the way they played it but a what they played. Instead of the new songs by tree 63 and sonic flood they went back to the old songs that the old back would play and it was a spectacular performance.This was when I learned that there were many ways to worship without being in the spotlight. -Roy Salmon